We’ve all been on dates where it feels like the other person is glued to their phone, and we have to compete with it to get their attention (that can’t just be us, right? Right??)
And if we’re being really honest here, there have been times when it’s us who can’t resist the lure of checking our notifications every 10 minutes.
Here’s the thing, though: people checking their phones on dates doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not interested. We all have busy lives, with a lot going on – work, school, family, friends, pet iguanas, you get the picture – and our phones are what connects us to all of them.
But the fact is that you’re never going to get to know the person you’re on a date with if you’re both already on a date with your phones.
So here’s our guide to distraction-free dating. It’ll get you to stop thinking about your phone – and them to stop thinking about theirs – so you can take the spark your team got you and turn it into a flame.
Keep your phone where you can’t see it (or feel it)
You don’t have to toss your phone into the Atlantic for this one to work. When you’ve met your date, put your phone into your backpack, handbag, or jacket pocket (especially if you’re inside and taking your jacket off). Out of sight, out of mind.
Why’s this important?
When you have your phone out – whether it’s on the table at a restaurant or beside you on a park bench – you’re sending a strong signal to your date that they’re not your top priority and that you’re expecting your phone to ring.
It’s easy to be distracted by something you can see – whether it’s tapping the screen or watching it light up with TikTok notifications out of the corner of your eye.
So just put it away. You’ll be more present in the moment, and the great person your friends connected you with will know you’re focused on them.
Put it on silent
What’s more distracting than a phone going off during a date? Yep, nothing. Before you sit down with your date, put your phone on silent.
We know all too well the anxiety that comes from thinking about missing an important call, message, DM, or email – but you have to ask yourself: if that’s what you’re really focusing on, should you even be on this date?
The minutes before a date aren’t for work emails or deep and meaningfuls with your friends
Work is hard to get away from. Whether you have a work phone, or your boss has convinced you to put your work email or Slack on your personal phone, it can feel like you’re online from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep.
So, whatever you do, don’t check your work emails or Slack messages before you go on your date. It doesn’t matter if you’re early (or they’re late) – don’t check them. Turn off those notifications.
Focusing on work during a date will leave you feeling distracted and take you out of the moment – which makes it hard for you to enjoy the time you have with your date, and signals to them that you’re not that interested, even if you don’t mean it.
The same goes for deep and meaningful conversations with your friends. Mute that group chat. Step away. If you walk into a date thinking about your friend’s big new revelation or the giant face tattoo they’re planning on getting, you’re going to be distracted.
Don’t use your phone as part of the conversation
As much as you’ll be tempted to pull out your phone and show your date the hilarious TikTok you saw earlier today, please try to resist.
Your intentions may be pure but as soon as you take that phone out, your eyes are going to go straight to the notifications bar – and suddenly you’re thinking about your phone again.
Hold fire during the date, and DM them the video, meme, or post afterwards. Not only does this keep your time with them distraction-free, but it’s also a great way to keep the conversation going.
Mute the notifications on your watch
Don’t forget about your watch!
Helpful as they are in the day-to-day, make sure you turn off or mute notifications when you’re meeting your date. That way you won’t be halfway through getting to them before being interrupted by notifications (or worse – having them watch your wrist constantly light up when they’re trying to tell you about themselves. Super distracting).
It only takes a moment to mute notifications, and it’ll show your date that you’re genuinely interested in them.
Ready to start having amazing dates? Create your fuse™ profile today and let’s get sparks flying.