Got a spark but don’t know how to push the convo forward? We’re here with some inspiration for conversation hooks that are sure to get things moving.

1. Use their profile

Let’s get the obvious one out of the way. Profiles exist for a reason: to give you something to pick out and ask about.

Dog or cat in their profile pic? Ask what their favorite treat is (the pet, not the person – although both works!). 

Their profile says they’re a Swiftie? Ask them what their favorite album is (the answer should always be Red, by the way – don’t @ us). They went to NYU? Ask them the thing they miss most about living in the Big Apple.

You get the idea: take convo hooks from their profile and spin them into conversations. You’ll be showing them you’re interested in more than just their appearance, and it opens up the chance for them to ask about you, too. After all, who doesn’t love an opportunity to talk about themselves?

2. Set the date

Ever felt like dating apps are less about dates, and more about playing DM ping-pong? Cut out those long, meandering conversations that don’t actually lead anywhere by taking things offline ASAP.

Once you’ve broken the ice a little and you’re sure this is someone worth pursuing, throw in a casual IRL date suggestion; for example:

‘There’s a cocktail bar in Fishtown I’ve never been to – want to check it out with me?’

Or…

‘Have you ever been to the art museum? I’m thinking of going this weekend if you want to come with?’

Do this as early on as feels right, and you’ll not only get a sense of the things they’re into, but you’ll also make it clear that you’re not just here to chat (unless you are, of course – in which case, you’ve probably already figured out not to try this one).

3. Lean into the season

No matter what time of year it is, there’s always something just around the corner for you to ask about.

Depending on the season, try asking…

‘So, how are you spending your summer vacation/Juneteenth/Thanksgiving/the holidays/Shania Twain’s birthday?’

This one little question can open up any number of conversational topics, from family members to favorite Christmas desserts.

4. Would you rather?

This one’s a great convo starter. If you’re not sure how to open the chat with that new Spark, drop a ‘Would you rather?’ on them.

Some classic examples include:

“Would you rather only be able to communicate in song, or only be able to move by dancing?”

“Would you rather eat nothing but ice cream forever, or never eat ice cream again?”

“Would you rather be 10 inches tall, or 10 feet tall?”

As well as being some of the greatest philosophical conundrums of the modern age, they’re also a good way to get a sense of someone’s creativity and sense of humor. You’ll also get a sneak-peek at how their mind works; whether they approach the questions seriously or playfully can be a good indicator of their wider personality.

5. Share something that made you laugh

Speaking of senses of humor, try sending them the most recent thing that made you laugh – be that a video, tweet, meme, or article.

A shared SOH is one of the highest-priority qualities we look for in a partner, and studies show that couples who laugh together, stay together – so it makes total sense to lay your funnybone on the table early on.

Having a shared sense of humor also opens up options for date nights at the comedy club, or cozy nights in with a Netflix special.